Saturday, August 07, 2004
sianz.... i'm actually forcing myself to write my blog nw... haiz... super sianz nw.... went out this morning to renew my passport with cheryl, but because the renewal is abt 70 dollars which is very expensive, and there was also a lot of ppl at the place, tat y we decided to do it next week wednesday... went to town to get macdonald breakfast... talked to cheryl abt a lot of things happening nw... its been a while since i last tok to her heart to heart.... we toked abt a lot of things.. abt the things i was dealing with, whu i like and all that stuff...den we went to more than words at cine to get hp chain for bryan me yi hao and herself.... den we met sabbie.. we walked for a while, den cheryl left to meet her friend.. tink she was hopping i could pei her to find her friend... but i din.. i pang seh her.. haiz.. wat a "great" friend i am... den went to eat mac with sabbie at taka and at the same time went to meet josh and celine... the our of us walked ard the whole day... josj and celine actually looks ery compatible.. but i tink he might like sabbie nw bcos he keeps disturbing her haha.. den went to watch a movie called collateral.. the only thing tat made me feel tat the movie was gd was that the whole scene took place within one night.. after the movie went to see sabbie practise with her church band.. heard her singing for the first time.. her voice nt bad.. quite nice summore.. den we went to eat dinner with samantha..... dinner was ok lah i guess.. walked ard after tat for a while in the west mall b4 i walked them hme.... after tat on the way hme was toking to sabbie on the phone on the bus when she said tat her father wanted her off the phone.. kinda felt bad tat bcos of me her father may scold her abt the phone thingy... haiz.. anyway.. reached hme.. bathed.. tried to online chat but the msn on my com was like shit and kept dcing... so i decided to write my blog and den go to slp... messaging tabs nw... dun know y.. but i gues i dun like her anymore.. dun hv tat special feeling tat i felt with her when i first liked her.. plus she's replying my messages liao.. though i dun knw hw long this will keep up... haiz.. one thing abt my life is tat when ever i like a girl she likes sumone else... maybe i'm juz destined nt to like anyone... haiz
Just someone insignificant was all alone at 11:56:00 PM
Friday, August 06, 2004
yo yo !!! haha.. its been a pretty long day... woke up late this morning, so i skipped e-commerce lecture, den din do much in sch till b law lesson.. b law was kinda interesting.. but the most intersting thing tat happened today was during the b law break... we saw a group of people nearly getting into a fight.. it seemed like the girl wasnt very happy with this guy because this guy copied and paste a lot of things in the project which ended up having the whole grp fail the project.... den things gt heated up and the girl splashed a cup of drink onto the guy.. and when the guy tried to quarrel back, the other guy in the grp stood up and nearly fought with this guy haha.... very drama.. den after lesson i skipped b law lecture and went to slack at the clubhse.. but i ended up seeing sabbie train for squash with nicholas, flo's bf... then mei bao and the rest of the gang came over to find us.. saw tabs too... was kinda happy that she was ard cause i hardly had time to tok to her these few days.. but we ended up nearly quarrelling.. she was saying sumthing abt wat table tennis trainig was abt hitting balls, den i was like saying den wat else do you hit den she gave me a sarcastic laughter and i replied with the same sarcastic laughter and den conversation ended.... haiz.... i tink i shld stop suaning ppl for a change ...wuld be much betta.... at least she'll talk to me in the past... nw ? haiz.... met ming hui and kevyn and emmanuel ltr for dinner, even though i din eat wth them... i wen to drink with ming hui also, but bcos we were short of cash so we managed to get ONE bottle of blue vodka and we shared among ourselves haha.... was kinda lame... but i miss those days haha.. feeling kinda tired nw... wished i could still tok to tabs.. life jz feels so empty without her.. haiz.....
Just someone insignificant was all alone at 10:51:00 PM
Thursday, August 05, 2004
yo... its been a pretty long day... lets just start with wat happen in the morning... woke up pretty late this morning, so din even managed to get a bathe before leaving the hse. classes were ok..but i just realise i may have to fail BFI's Ca next tuesday cause i dont understand a single word she's saying !!! haiz.. den after class bryan said we're supposeed to meet sabrina for lunch. i was kinda reluctant to eat with them, cause i'll feel so extra and that i'll be probably be not talking much when i'm with the both of them together... but i went anyway cause i din wan to eat lunch alone... but it ended up pretty much like the way i expected. i don now y this is so, but every time i'm with them i juz dun feel like talking, cause its like i feel so extra. Even when its outside as long as i'm the only person with the both of them, i'll juz feel that even if i said anything both of them will prob juz be ignored cause both are so engrossed with each other's conversation. Besides she's more talkative with Bryan, so i prob shouldnt even be ard when they meet each other... anyway.. as luch passed by, i juz din feel like talking to her, so when yu ke and gang asked me to go play ball, i juz agreed, prob cause i din wan to be the "light bulb" anymore. Den i saw yi hao sitting on my sit as well, and when he saw me he was going to leave the table, so i asked him to sit down and tat i came back juz to tak my bag. Haiz.. i dunno if i messed up big time by quarrelling with him, but i frankly dun care. Anyway the three of them will prob be better off without me.. haha.. dunno y i can still laugh even though i'm so bothered by it.. the three of them are all good people, people who's not like me.. i'm a bad guy, a playful flirt, a insensitve jerk, haha.. and most of all i'm a playful childish ass, but those three are people who are more sensible teens den me, and like sabbie once siad, if i become bad, she'll prob juz leave me alone, so i tink its ok if i distance myself from them.. juz wished aaron and ming hui and cheng jin and lester was here.. i miss those days when it was jus the five of us.... haiz.. stayed in sch at the clubhse till 8 like tat. Juz din wan to go home so early even though i have a project to rush and a lot of tests to study.. saw ben train basketball.. reminded me of last time in sec sch, when me and josh and the rest of us would slack everyday and play ball during every recess... i missed those days when i'm with them... at least i'll feel happy... haiz..on the way home messaged tabs again... din know y i even did tat.. its like i already knew she wuldnt reply, but yet i still did it... haiz.. this was prob hw nicholas felt when she refused to reply him tat time... if only it din start.. haiz... haiz gonna start on my project liao.. shld prob juz be a guai kia at hme and bad boi in sch.. no one would notice anyway..no one would notice the insignificant boi ken.....
Just someone insignificant was all alone at 10:54:00 PM
Wednesday, August 04, 2004
yo yo !!! haha juz came back from school.... super tired... but first... Yes !!! i finally have the sb club key ! haha.. so happy.. haha... anyway .. nuthing happen much in class today.. haha managed to talk to flo.. dun know y.. but everytime i tink abt me and tabs.. i juz feel i'm juz nt gd enugh for her.. like wat i said to flo... she's like very sporty, very studious, very guai~... and i'm lik... the total opposite... how can we match up ? den ltr after school, went to the club hse to slack ard... saw tabitha alone.. so i approached her to talk cock ... haha when i asked her abt the earring... she said it was nice.. haha !!! i'm so happy... but she could prob be entertaining me only haha...anyway.. later mei bao and erica pon their cca's to plat bbal with me and wilson.. haha.. was kinda fun.. especially when cheng jin came over.. haha..but i got injured half way... haiz... my knee is getting from bad to worse liao... tink i have to do sumthing abt it quick... anyway after the game.. went to potong pasir to eat tao hui... taught erica abit of accounts also... on the way home thouh.. i tot abt tabs again.. and i'm thinking of getting her a ointment for her muscles.. as she suffered a muscle strain... but wat if she rejects it ? haiz y do i keep torturing myself when i know its nt going to happen ? haiz.. anwyay din see sabbie for the whole day.... wonder y she din look for me today... but she's prob nt concern with me also lah... when there's bryan whu needs ken rite ? haha ok going to slp liao... super tired.. tink i'l get the ointment tmr morning and find a way to pass it to her... btw.. saw her online... but as usal she nvr replys... y do i keep hurting myself....haiz...
Just someone insignificant was all alone at 10:57:00 PM
Tuesday, August 03, 2004
yoz.. feeling much betta nw... kinda stop thinking too much liao hehe....anyway juz went to pierce my ear !!! haha was kinda ok at first.. but the pain came bit later, but hey.. its me.. so i kinda got over it.. nuthing's to hard for me to get over haha...anyway... nuthing much happen today.. but i felt kinda depressed in school cause qiu ping and her click refuses to tok to me and i think its because thy feel tat i pang seh thm or sumthing. y is it tat i always end up in such situations ? haiz.. den went out with doron and sabbie and mei bao after school... walked ard for a while... sabbie seemed a bit sianz abt the fact that her sis is always being the more popular with guys den her, especially when bryan likes her sis and she likes bryan !! haha kinda tink tat sabbie's betta.. prob cause i know her betta..so dun feel sad sabbie !! haha... anywayate billy bomber's for dinner.. was super ex !!!! if i had known i wouldnt hv gone to the place to eat. no doubt the food was gd.. but the food is still very ex !!! argh !!! haha guess i'm gona hv to starve for a while haha... on the way back i messaged tabs... as expected she din reply. This time i told myself enugh was enugh... i din wan to keep draging this thing on and on.. so i told myself let god play his part. if me and tabs could or will be able to proceed on more den frens, den she'll reply me... its kinda unfair that this has to happen cause she doesnt know abt the pact tt i made with god.. but i let fate do its part as well.. and as i expected all along... she din replied for abt half an hour... so i send her another message to tell her abt tmr's concert.. den she replied.. but so wat ? if it wasnt abt the concert tix she still uldnt hv replied.. guess i'll juz follow god's will haha... heard frm yi hao tat he dun wan to chase erica anymore.. he explains briefly tat there's a communication breakdn btween both of them... i tink he's juz being crappy.. he rather give up a chio gal like erica den go after a ok looking BIG size girl called avril... wat the hell is he thinking ?!! but anyway tats like o yi hao.. bet he'll tell me nxt week or so wat he shld do to chio erica haha.... bastard.. haha... kidding... haiz.. guess its time to let go.. tabitha and i... the realtionship tat i always dreamt of, my love for her....will juz turn out like this sentence, ending with a full stop.
Too Serious Too Soon- Gareth Gates
I wonder where you are...
I wonder what you're thinking about tonight..
i wonder..
Maybe you're alone..
maybe you're crying just like me...
i wonder...
i don know why i lost your touch..
baby...wanted to be love too much....
Too serious too soon..
i wanted you to love me,
I wanted to be there for you like no one else before..
Too serious too soon,
i wanted you to love me...
Its been a rainy afternoon,
now i'm staring at the moon.. thinking....
We got too serious too soon...
I told you everyday,
i told you every nigh in every way..
that i love you...
Maybe you got scared..
Maybe i've got nothing left to say..
but i love you..
so baby now my life's a mess...
cause i.. couldnt love you any less..
Too serious too soon..
i wanted you to love me..
i wanted to be there for you like no one else before..
too serious too soon...
i wanted you to love me..
its been a rainy afternoon..
now i'm staring at the moon.. thinking...
too serious...
too soon.......
its not right,
its not fair,
its in you...
baby cuts like a knife...
what if you.. were the love of my life ?......
Too serious too soon,
i wanted you to love me..
i wanted to be there for you like no one else before..
too serious too soon...
i wanted you to love me...
we got too.... too serious too soon....
i wanted to be there for you like no one else before..
too serious too soon...
i wanted you to love me...
Its been a rainy afternoon... and i'm staring at the moon.. thinking..
we got too serious too soon....
Just someone insignificant was all alone at 12:00:00 AM
Sunday, August 01, 2004
hey... just realised you're my onli fren left tat i could confide into... today's a superb day... nearly drowned, gt caught in the rain... and now she's avoiding me... life is very interesting rite ? dun know hw i shld feel, dun know wah i shld do.. was online with tabs juz nw... for the first time in my life.. i felt totally hopeless.... she wouldnt even reply my msn messages... wat is wrong with me ? Am i too irritating ? have i yet become another nicholas ? why is it that every one in the world treat me like trash and throw me ard ? is it because i'm to friendly ? is it because i never seem serious ? sometimes i fill like juz dying away.. its prob betta dis way.. no one wuld really care anyway...i'm nt crying nw.. but my heart feels like a a knife has been plunged in and out every min and sec of this disgusting life... doesnt anyone in the world reali care and wish for me ? all my life i keep telling myself even though people do not always do you favours, u shld still do them favours because this is hw it shld be... when people feel dwn they look for me to tok to ... but wat abt me? am i nt human ? whu do i look for when i feel dwn ? i hv so many sisters, but do they even care for me when i need it ? blog.. you're the only person i have with me nw.. dun leave me.... pls dun....
Just someone insignificant was all alone at 9:08:00 PM
yo... this is the second time i'm blogging here because my other blog is in a terrible mess and i really need to write out how i feel so yah haha... Just came back from sentosa this afternoon. Feeling kinda shag right now haha... but anyway let's just start from yesterday's events...
YESTERDAY...
went over to ben's hse in bukit gombak. He's new hse is nice, but kinda small. As soon as i got there we played mahjong. haha as usual right... then we played till 7 in the evening b4 we had dinner. Thru out the mahjong game, my mood was very good. when ever Yu ke or Jason or Tacy said sumthing abt me, i'll just feel super low. I dunno y myself, but i think its probably because of the recent events happening in the week. After that, we took a cab from bukit gombak to sentosa. When we finally arrived, most of Cheryl( birthday girl )'s friends had left, and we celebrated for her alone. Felt kinda of bad as Cheryl had to accomodate us for her birthday. Later, we went crazy and started smashing each other's face with the leftover cake. Haha.. it was kinda fun, but the cake was very oily... Then later, the guys wanted me to go back to bukit gombak with them to play mahjong, but i refused, and we nearly had a quarrel. The reasons i had were simple: I promised Xue Yun i'll stay to keep Cheryl company, i don't want to play mahjong anymore for the rest of the week, and i just wanted to relax and forget abt all my troubles tat i have . In the end, the guys left without me. During the night, we were telling ach other ghost stories ( ok, there are 4 ppl in the tent: Me, cheryl, Xue Yun, and her bf Andy, My sec sch class mate ), and telling jokes, but when we ran out of things to do, we started singing sad songs. I nearly cried cause i just felt very sad. i kept thinking about whether i should continue going after Tabs, but the more thoughts i had, the worse i felt. I know i shouldn't even have the right to say i'm very sad, beacuse after all, there hasn't and had nvr been anything between me and Tabs. But i don't know why i feel that way too.. but in the end, i fell asleep...(cont next entry)
invisible Man- 98 Degrees
You can hardly wait to tell all your friends,
how his kisses taste sweet like wine..
and how he always makes your heart skip a beat,
everytime he walks by...
And if you're feeling down, he'll pick you up,
he'll hold you close when you're making love..
He's everything you've been dreaming of.. oh baby....
I wish you'll look that way,
Your beautiful eyes will look deep into mine..
telling me more then any words could say..
But you don't even know i'm alive....
Baby, to you, all i am...
is the Invisible Man....
Just someone insignificant was all alone at 7:56:00 PM
